March 1, 198X
Same time as last--A calm cold night
Gurgly radiator and something hissing. This is a depressing volume - it's so seldom that I write that when I go over the previous pages before I start, I get morose - only the traumas are set down, it seems. Those first few - lord. Never again will I set myself up like that.
Well anyway - what's new, p-cat? The facts of my life. I'm still haphazardly employed - cloned all over the art school - today I started typesetting at the print shop - dubious are my chances of being paid when I need it, but I've got this month's rent and I need a new skill. Half finished projects are everywhere - a black cloth-covered cigar box that was prettier before I painted a pink mess on it - undelivered valentines - writing ideas too (I'm afraid these days) - things xeroxed and to be xeroxed. I would really like to come up w/ a great way to store/use/display (all) these things.
I don't want to take any nude jobs for a while (maybe the photog again - very profitable) since I bleached my triangle. It looks silly. I wonder how long to grow out?
A-- is moving in upstairs. I'd like to be friends with her, and she does seem to be close to whoever she's in phys proximity to - but do I want her ex-neighbor L as part of it? She want so much to get off B----- Street and out of that house - I guess because of P - but I think it'll take more than that - her habits are deep rooted and her friends reinforce them - and it was only a couple of weeks ago that she almost really killed herself. Well, no one keeps drugs around (except L's always on the dole as usual, but she'll never buy or have any of her own) - but I just will not be able to cope with any slitting - maybe that's hard hearted but I'm no therapist -
Oh stop - and none of the other bitchy (cavilling) things thought either.
Well - the other day I counted and I think I've had 9 lovers, ever. All but one are five times or less - half 2 or 3, one just one. How bout that? I don't want to talk about it now.
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